Today is February 15. Graduation is May 15. In exactly three months my college career will be complete. Kaput. El fin.
In August of 2006 I arrived in Buies Creek blindly confident and unaware of, well, everything. My step-dad parked our family minivan behind Hedgpeth Hall, and my first steps onto campus were in that faded parking lot. My last steps as a student will take place across the stage in the new Convocation Center.
Hopefully I don't trip.
Graduating doesn't really scare me. I'm excited about moving to the next chapter in my life. I can finally realize my dream of becoming a legit journalist, not just a summer intern or campus newspaper writer. Not to mention a life with Elliot lies on the other side of graduation. I'll find a place to live and I'll find a job.
Optimistic? Yes. Just as much as I was my first days at Campbell, when I arrived with no friends and too many Red Sox t-shirts.
I've noticed a pattern in my life. I think about long-term changes, get scared, experience more life, and on the way God prepares me for the next step-- the same step I was so scared of only a few months prior. In December the thought of graduating and having to become "a real grown up" festered uncertainty and fear within me. Job, apartment, blah, blah.
I'm scared of the dark for the same reason I was scared of finishing school-- I don't like the unknown. I don't like not having control over my life.
Alas, the big man upstairs works out the knots of pride within in my heart, takes my hand once again and continues to lead me.